Kim Kardashian

A few days before Christmas, our company received two (or was it three?) huge boxes from Florida.  They were filled with individually wrapped little care packages, each one with Rice Krispy treats, Slim Jims, candies and other assorted little goodies.  The boxes, along with about a dozen other boxes sent from all corners of the US for the holidays, were put in our company aid station where myself and my other medic buddies dove into them face first.  I quickly realized that each individual package in the three (or was it two?) huge boxes had little handwritten letters inside written by members of a certain History teacher's 8th grade classes.  They were all gracious and intelligent and, most of all, hilarious.  I'm going to try to write some of them back and will definitely be writing Mrs. Dehlinger, at the very least, if only to let her know she has the most entertaining group of teenagers I've ever heard of.

This one was the first one I read and, coincidentally, my favorite:

Dear Soldier,
    Hi, my name is Bethany and I'm an 8th grader at ------ Middle School.  In honor of Veteran's Day, my class and I are writing letters to soldiers in the 95th Route Clearance and randomly putting them into care packages(Jackpot!!!), so

CONGRATULATIONS!

You're one of the lucky winners!  I will expect you at my chocolate factory at strictly 9 o' clock.  Please bring the endorsed golden ticket, or else you will not be permitted.  (Kidding)


I'm just kidding! Thank you so much for what you do - risking your life every day to protect our country!  You are a true hero.  Since you've been gone, I thought you may want to know some of the major events that have happened in the past few months:


May:
         Osama Bin Laden is killed during an American military operation in Pakistan.
June:
         1) Chile's Puyche volcano erupts
         2) Thousands of Syrians flee to Turkey as Syrian troops lay siege to Jisr and Shugur.
July:
         1) The world's first artificial organ transplant is achieved.
         2) South Sudan secedes from Sudan.
         3) 76 die in twin terrorist attacks in Norway.
August:
         1) Kim Kardashian marries Kris Humphries.
September:
          After 434 dead, the United Nations launches $357 million appeal for victims of the 2011 Sindh floods in Pakistan.
October:
          1) Former Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi is killed.
          2) 7.2 earthquake kills over 800 in Turkey
          3) Global population reaches 7 billion.
          4) Kim Kardashian divorces Kris Humphries (C'mon, we all knew it was going to happen sooner or later!)


5 things that lasted longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage.
           1) The average lifespan of a dragonfly.
           2) The pause after Dora the Explorer asks the audience a question.
           3) Michelle's part in Destiny's Child's song.
           4) Taylor Swift's speech before Kanye took the mic.
           5) Dumbledore's beard. 


Thank you!  Sincerely,
Bethany ---------